Category Archives: humor

Today is Jeff”s birthday, Happy Birthday brother!  I am so very proud of the great father, awesome  person and all-around good guy you are..  We had our doubts when you were two and happily smearing the contents of your diaper on the walls, and  that time you chased me around the house with a hammer made me wonder too.

Conflict resolution is probably been one of Jeff’s strongest attributes ” I’m just gonna kick ass and ask questions later,” was his motto for many years. Underneath this hot-headed, ex- marine with a flair for storytelling that would make the most stoic person wet their pants, is the most compassionate, caring and strongest people I know.

  Over this last year especially, I witnessed his selfless love for his family and his ability to do the right thing without hesitation.  I am so proud to call him my brother and I am sure today Dad is giving him that silent “man-nod” – “well- done, keep doing it .” I think the cleaner is pretty proud as we all are. Lots of love from the Big Sky!

Procrastinating resolutions

I believe the Chinese new year starts on January 23rd.  It’s the Year of the Dragon, apropro in the whirlwind of the holidaze.  I have just started on my resolutions.  It takes thought and planning to figure out what are my hopes and steps to success. Thinking ,mapping out my route, which starts with a typing course. Entrancing!

After that, ditch this Droid Eris,=. I can actually run and find a payphone and make a call in the time it takes me to tap and flick and then call people twice.  That thing is going to put me in a rubber room.

Speaking of rubber rooms I accidently took Jesse to a psychiatrist.  After a few uncomfortable moments, he asked,”Why are you here?”  My daughter stared at me as I bumbled out my mistake.

“You don’t deal with sleep disorders,” I asked.  “It said that on your web page.”

“No, I don’t.”  he said.

“Ok we are out of here!” we piled out the door all at once. I love when that happens. Please help us, we can’t even make an exit properly, this has been happening for 15 years.

“Don’t come back!” he yelled in a cheery voice. .

“I might,” I muttered under my breath as McKenna spotted a bathroom.  Kids of all ages like to wash their hands, but not in their own house.

So Jesse is at Sydnie’s, bemoaning her fate.

Fun Fact:  There are three Friday the 13ths in the year 2012 and they are all 13 weeks apart .  Thirteen is also my softball jersey number, Hmmm.  Well, back to the bucket list, onward thorugh the fog and the Chinese New Year starts!

I’d like the sound of waves crashing on the beach to be piped into my rubber room.

Have a wonderful Tuesday and thank you MLK – leaders of your caliber and wisdom are so often laid  to rest way too soon!

 

 

The “L” word

There I was getting coffee, and the boss comes by and says “I love you.” Now I understand he doesn’t love me like that,( and he doesn’t drink coffee,) but I left him hanging, and just walked away.  It was an awkward moment and I’m trying to wrap my head around the logic without laughing my ass off.  Comparably it would be like saying ” I love you,” to your grocery store clerk or mailman.
I love lots of people, my children, my close friends, I feel I am very loving (at times- I’m not exactly a  lovefest.) But, the only ones who hear “I love you ,” on a regular basis are my kids. Back when I was drinking I said it a lot. “I love you man, let’s have another shot,” to a complete stranger-forgivable in those days.
Nowadays, saying “I love you,” is like ringing the death knoll. For instance, my last relationship we held off on saying the “L” word for at least 2 1/2 years.  Suddenly there it was- peppering most of our conversations and instead of showing each other that we truly cared about one another, we just zipped out a quick “I love you, gotta go…” and from there, downhill very quickly, three months, DOA.

So – am I getting fired?  Probably right after I post this blog, but that’s only if someone reads it. In any case, I see myself as a guinea pig for a new management style- tell your employees that you love them- Fail.  The next day I am at the coffee station, boss comes by and says, “I am very fond of you.”

I yell after him , “Oh very fond of you, I love working here!” so loudly people all over the kitchen stare.  I hear someone say “ass-kisser.”  I don’t care.  I consider that slate wiped clean.  Awkwardness gone, all is well with the world.
So when is it appropriate to say the “L” word?
1. When you are burying anyone’s pet.
2. To your family and best friend that knows you wet
the bed until you were eleven.
3. To your spouse, if you still feel that way, not because you didn’t put away the groceries.
4. When someone brings you coffee in bed.

5.  When it looks like someone needs to hear it.
Perhaps that may have been going through this person’s mind, when they gave me the shout out and I left them hanging like a piece of garlic on the windowsill. In that event, thank you and I appreciate your generosity with the “L” word.  I apologize for not saying it back and I have run through various things I could have done or said and still have been sincere.  “Me too!  Thank you! Right back at ya!”  Hindsight is 20/20 for a reason.

My name is kstormy and if you’re  reading this blog, I like you a real lot.

Are You Ready to Be A Parent?

There should be a test for everyone that thinks about having children.  It is a simple quiz but based on reality, so those parents that think they will hike 10 miles into the wilderness to restock their cloth diaper pail for their week-long trip into the back country are prepared for a three hour hike to the outhouse at the main trailhead.

HIke in January

Mad Hiker

  • Do you like to sleep?  Do you like to share your bed with a two -foot tall child that spreads out like a pinwheel? Is four inches of bed space enough for you?
  • When walking are you used to dodging, tripping or falling over as your child will stop, swerve and crash into you for the next twenty years?
  • Do you like paper? Lots of beautiful precious drawings will be heading your way and God help you if you get busted throwing one out.
  • Do you like to be critiqued on your cooking?  “I don’t like this,” is a song even Rachel Ray would hear every night. Unless it is in a box with a toy inside, they won’t eat it.
  • Do you like to use the bathroom in private? For the first few years, that might not happen.  The worse part is that you might get used to having an audience and will use the restroom as your family meeting place. Lovely, huh?
  • How about public tantrums? Are you willing to throw one yourself, just to show your child how ridiculous it is?  Are you willing to leave a shopping cart full of much needed groceries in order to take your screaming child home, and hear the applause of the other shoppers as you leave?
  • Are you ready for statements like,” You look like you are going to have a baby” directed towards yourself or complete strangers that (you guessed it) are not pregnant.
  • Can you find a bathroom anywhere and immediately?
  • Do you like to talk on the phone?  That is the universal signal to all children that they need to talk to you right now. Or better yet, it is the best time to see if they really can fly off the bunk bed.
  • Are you mentally prepared to find only 2 pairs of matching socks out of 50?
  • If you answered yes to any of these questions, you are totally ready for the ups and downs of being a parent, because at the end of it all, the good outweighs the bad.  Feel free to add any more great and grating scenarios. Remember, kids like it when their parents laugh and laugh often.